Chapter Nineteen – Jane Returns

The sliding door was wide open and Lola was looking in. She took one step inside. “Ah,” called Matt loudly. Lola looked at Matt, wagging her tail slowly with her head low and ears pinned back. “I was never going in there,” she seemed to say.

“Jane will love it,” said Matt.

“I hope so. It’s a big day today, she’ll get a mighty surprise when she sees this.” Matt nodded, but he was not worried. Not one little bit. Jane had seemed better each time they visited. On the last two visits, she seemed quite pleased to see him and had spoken enthusiastically about coming home. Matt had secretly told her he had a big surprise and she’d hugged him.

Bill picked up the car keys from the kitchen table. “Okay, Matt, it’s time to go. We’ll leave Lola out the back and shut the doors. When we get home make sure you come outside first, don’t let Lola jump up and startle Jane.”

Matt nodded and knelt. “Lola, get here.” Lola bounded over to Matt and jumped onto his knees. “Good girl, good girl. Don’t you jump on Jane will you!”

Matt wondered what went on in the mental health facility. Bill had explained how it provided a break to give everyone a chance to breathe. It was also a chance to try a medication change in a safe environment. Matt knew what that meant. To manage the suicide risk, the big unspeakable darkness. While Matt sat in the car waiting for Bill and Jane to emerge he reflected on a conversation with Gary. At the time they were sitting on a hill at the very back of the farm with Dexter. It was, Matt recalled, sunny and warm.

“Does health, fitness and strength happen on its own, Matt?” Gary had asked. “Or do we need to work on it? What about mental health? Maybe we need to work on that too. Think about this, we can discuss it sometime.”

Indeed Matt had thought about it. He guessed that maybe you did need to work on it. Maybe mental health wasn’t something you just got. Maybe it was more like physical strength, you could develop it. Another time, while on the boat, Gary talked about listening to your mind. To take note when you were stressed, frightened, overwhelmed or nervous and stop to understand why and to make a plan to address it.

“These are all signals,” he had said. “They are nothing to be worried about themselves. They are hints that you need to stop, breathe and think.” Maybe Jane needed to think about why she was sad and address that wondered Matt.

 

Matt watched Bill and Jane walk from the building. As they came closer Matt could see that Jane was looking up, looking at him. She smiled and Matt smiled back. It was a lovely smile, a warm smile. Matt felt his chest and stomach relaxing, Jane was happy. Matt opened the car door and stepped back to let Jane sit in the front seat, but she did not get in the car. She wrapped her arms around Matt and held him tight.

“It’s so good to see you, Matt, I’ve missed you so much.” Matt felt Jane take a big, involuntary breath. Just the type of breath you take before crying. He pulled Jane tighter to him, to try and say, ‘I missed you too.’

From a distance, two nurses looked through a window and smiled. “That’s great, they’re hugging,” said one.

“I am sure she will be fine. Oh no, this job makes eye makeup nearly impossible. I think I’m going to cry.” They both laughed as they turned and walked away.

Matt took his seatbelt off as they drove down the driveway and jumped out as soon as the car stopped. “Don’t look,” said Matt excitedly, “just come with me. Keep your eyes closed.” Matt held Jane’s arm and walked her inside. “Sit here and don’t open your eyes until Bill says so.” Jane heard Matt run outside and some clattering sounds she could not identify. Once Bill was confident that Matt had Lola under control he let Jane know she could open her eyes.

“Oh my goodness! The wall’s gone!” Jane looked out through the new sliding door onto the new deck with furniture and flower pots.

“Come and try the new chairs,” suggested Bill.

Bill opened the sliding door and ushered Jane through. Jane stopped and stared. There was Matt, crouching and holding Lola by the collar. Lola started frantically wiggling, her paws sliding on the deck as she tried to pull herself forward. “Oh my goodness! Do we really have a dog?” exclaimed Jane.

“Sit down and I’ll bring her over,” said Matt with much excitement. “Her name is Lola and she’s REALLY friendly.”

Jane turned a chair around to face Matt and sat down. “Okay, but don’t let her jump.” Matt held Lola’s collar tightly and made his way to Jane. Lola’s excitement grew as they got closer, the scratching of her claws on the deck became more frenetic. Lola sniffed Jane’s legs and tried to jump, but Matt was holding on tightly. Lola rolled onto her back and twisted around catching Matt’s thumb in the collar. Matt reached down to change hands but Lola, sensing a moment of freedom spun onto her feet and leapt onto Jane’s lap. Matt managed to grab her back legs, but it was too late. Lola was licking Jane’s face. Jane gave a startled shriek, her face was screwed shut and head turned to one side. As Matt started to pull Lola back by the legs she started to lick Jane’s neck. Jane reached up, wiped her face with her hand and started to laugh.

“Oh my goodness, Matt, she is friendly.” Jane rolled Lola upside down, wedged securely between her legs. Then with one arm holding Lola firmly, scratched her on the neck.

Matt looked over to Bill who had his hands on his head and his mouth wide open. Bill shook his head slowly and blew a long breath out. Matt mouthed, ‘whoops,’ back. The very thing they were trying to avoid had just happened.

“What a lovely puppy, Matt. What is her name again?”

“Lola,” said Matt, “I’m still training her.”

“Well she is too young to be fully trained yet, but I am very pleased to hear you are training her.” Jane looked around. “I just can’t believe you have done all this in a few weeks.”

“Bill and I built the deck,” said Matt. “With some friends,” he added.

“The idea,” began Bill tentatively, “is that we could spend more time outside, now that it’s summer.”

Jane nodded and took a big breath. “Yes, more time outside will be good. And walking and visiting and having visitors and reading. Change the behaviour, change the outcome.” Jane said the last bit almost musically. It was, Matt guessed, part of what Jane had been learning the last few weeks. “In fact,” said Jane with the certainty and clarity of a freshly arrived idea. “How about we have a garden party?”

“YEAH!” said Matt loudly, “Lola would love that.”

Jane laughed and Matt reflexively looked at Jane. “That was a real laugh,” he thought.

Jane moved her knees apart and let Lola slide gently to the floor. Matt grabbed Lola and pulled her onto his lap. “Okay, gentlemen, let’s see what else you have been up to.”

“I’m taking Lola for a walk,” said Matt, “catch you later.” Lola jumped at the leash and a tug of war began as Matt slowly pulled her toward the gate.

“Make sure to clip her on before opening the gate,” called Bill.

Jane walked inside and stood in the kitchen watching Matt and Lola walk down the driveway. Lola had the leash in her mouth and was tugging furiously, jumping from side to side. “I cannot believe you got a dog, Bill.”

“Was not actually my idea. But it has been the best thing for Matt, I’ve never seen him happier.”

Jane nodded. “Yes, it seems so.”

Bill put his hand on Jane’s shoulder. “And I have not seen you so happy in a long, long time.”

Jane put a hand on Bill’s. “Yes, I know. I am so sorry, Bill. I don’t know how this all came about. But we have a plan.” Jane paused and took a big breath. “And some pills. I don’t know what to make of it all. It’s all been such a blur.”

Bill stepped closer and put his arms around Jane. “It’s both of us, Jane. Both lost our way and both need to make a change. Change the behaviour, change the outcome was it?”

“Oh yes, that was our thing. I’ve got a little book of plans, things to do, things not to do and things to do differently. It’s very comforting. It almost seems simple when you write it down. Might have to add walking Lola!”

“You will have some competition. I doubt Lola’s been walked less than four times a day since we got her,” said Bill.

Jane smiled. “Just the way it should be.”

“Now this party idea of yours. Who would you like to come?”

Jane chortled. “I have no idea, it was just a whim.”

“A very good whim though. We could start with those who helped with the deck and Matt’s friends. Come with me, I will show you Matt’s new room.”

Matt had arranged to meet Jed on his walk and to loop around town. It would make for a long walk, but Lola was very quickly getting used to long walks. After a few minutes of walking, Lola stopped jumping and happily trotted alongside Matt, stopping occasionally to explore an interesting smell.

“Hey, hey.”

Matt turned to see if the yelling was for him, it was. Matt recognised the boy from the broken down car. He came running across the road. “Can I pet your dog?”

Matt nodded. “Her name is Lola. Is your name Nikau?”

“Yeah. What’s your name?”

Matt smiled. “Not John Conner, it’s Matt.” They both laughed.

“My mum knows your robot mate. She’s pretty weird about it. Which way you going?”

“This way, past the lagoon.”

“Choice, can we stop and show my sister your dog?” Matt nodded and they set off on their way. Nikau was very chatty and confident. He pointed out all the houses where he knew someone. Matt recognised the house they had towed the car to. “Wait here, I’ll get her.” Nikau ran to the house and banged on a window. The window opened a little and after some banter Nikau pointed to Matt and Lola. Matt saw a flash of Kiana running through the house and heard a door slam.

Kiana ran to Lola and knelt. “What a cute puppy!” Lola jumped at Kiana. Kiana laughed, leaned forward and let Lola lick her face.

“Hey, Kiana, you’re getting a wash,” laughed Nikau, “better open your gob and do your teeth.” Kiana rolled onto her back and pulled Lola on top of her. Lola jumped playfully on Kiana’s chest and started licking her neck. Matt, Nikau and Kiana all laughed loudly. Lola was having a party.

“What are you kids doing?” came a gruff demand. It was the mum, she was walking briskly toward them.

Kiana sat up with her arms around Lola. “Playing with his puppy.”

The mum looked at Matt. He could tell she recognised him. She took in a sharp breath and tightened her lips. “You,” she said. “What’s that fella’s name? The one who towed us.”

Matt swallowed, he felt his throat tighten. “Gary,” he said quietly but firmly.

“Gary who?”

Matt looked straight into the mum’s eyes. He did not want to let Gary down. “It’s him,” said Matt, “it’s the Gary you’re thinking of.”

The woman stared at Matt. She was thinking, but of what? Was she angry? Would she take it out on Matt? “You know what happened, kid?”

Matt nodded. “Gary told me.”

“Told you what?”

Matt refocused his eyes on the woman. “Everything,” said Matt, “it was the biggest mistake of his life.”

“Mistake?”

Matt nodded.

“That girl, she’s my sister. Woulda cut that guy’s balls off myself. One of his bros lives here, kid. You better stay away.”
 

Matt nodded and pulled on Lola’s leash. “C’mon, Lola, let’s go.”

“I’ll come too,” said Nikau.

“Me too,’ added Kiana.

“Hold on,” said the woman, “where do you think you’re going?”

“Just around the block,” said Matt. He had, of course, no idea how far Nikau and Kiana intended to come.

The woman walked away. Matt let Kiana hold Lola’s leash and play the tugging game with her.

“Don’t worry about mum,” said Nikau, “she’s always angry. Where we going?”

“To meet Jed.”

“Cool, don’t know Jed.”

 They walked in silence for some minutes before Nikau spoke. “So what did that fella say happened?”

Matt groaned inside. Was he allowed to talk about this? To tell Gary’s story? Matt put his hands in his pockets and looked down. “Well,” he began, “I’m not sure if I’m supposed to talk about it.”

“Yeah,” said Kiana in an indignant voice, “we’re not going to tell anyone.”

“Promise?”

“Totally bro,” said Nikau. Kiana opened her eyes as wide as she could and nodded at Matt.

“Okay. Well, there was this guy hitting a girl…”

“That’s our aunty,” said Kiana.

Matt nodded, then continued. “Gary tried to get him to stop, but a fight broke out. Gary hit him in the head because the other guys were going to join in.”

Again they walked in silence.

“Is that it?” asked Nikau indignantly, “faaa… that’s not what they told us. They said your fella attacked them, wanted to get aunty.”

Matt shook his head. “No, I’m sure that’s not what happened. Gary’s really nice.”

“He’s really big. He’s the terminator all right,” said Nikau buoyantly.

Matt stopped walking and waited for Nikau and Kiana to face him. “Remember when we stopped to help you? He got rid of those dicks for you. He didn’t have to. It was just like that, Gary tried to help your aunty.”

Nikau looked down and shrugged his shoulders. Kiana kicked Nikau in the leg.

“WHAT?”

Kiana opened her eyes wide again and leaned forward a little bit. “Betcha he’s right you know.”

Nikau turned and continued walking. “Maybe, whatever.”

Kiana looked at Matt and rolled her eyes. With the difficult topic out of the way, the conversation moved onto school. Kiana would be in the same year as Matt and Nikau would be one year ahead. Nikau thought he knew Ricky, but could not be certain. Nikau explained that he hung with the ‘bros.’

“Gonna play rugby?” asked Nikau.

“I’ve never played,” replied Matt weakly.

“Soon learn,” said Nikau excitedly, “you just smash em!”

“What’s your favourite sport?” asked Kiana.

“Hmm, probably athletics. I’ve started running with a friend.”

Nikau clapped his hands. “Okay, race ya. From here to the second power pole, the one with the box on it.” Nikau crouched down, then glancing at Kiana. “You say when.”

“WHEN,” yelled Kiana immediately.

Matt took off as fast as he could. He heard Lola yapping excitedly behind him. He could also hear Nikau almost alongside him, but not quite. Matt slowed down and put his hands on his hips after he passed the pole.

“You got a head start,” lamented Nikau.

Matt nodded. “It’s a draw.”

“Nah, Matt won,” laughed Kiana as she and Lola caught up.

Lola was barking and jumping with excitement. Matt crouched down and gave Lola a big hug.